This morning I read an article online.
A tragic story of a mother’s pain when discovering, one day before her due date that her little boy had died.
It was unavoidable, sudden and completely heart-breaking! He was born the very next day, when he should have been, and he was born sleeping.
I sat there reading with my six-month old on my knee and the tears began to stream down my face. Exhausted, worn out after a terrible night due to my teething baby, I cradled her in my arms and didn’t ever want to let go.
I had been grumpy during the night, snapping at my husband who was equally tired and playing the victim just because I wasn’t getting the right amount of sleep. But my baby, my second daughter who now sat before me with the most beautiful, beaming smile had needed me to ease her pain. And no matter how tired I was, no matter how weak or rubbish I felt, my little angel was here, in my arms, and after reading about this poor woman’s pain and anguish, I felt utterly blessed!
There will always be good days and bad days when it comes to raising children, surely every mother at some point feels as low as I did this morning. But the article I held before my eyes was only one of dozens of stories that circulate the media every day, many of which I had previously read, many of which had reduced me to tears.
I know that I will not always have huge amounts of energy, I know that there will be many more sleepless nights ahead of me and my husband will endure more of my short-tempered comments. I won’t pretend that life will always be rosy and that I will never feel grumpy again, we have two children, we are going to be busy!
However, what I do know, what I promised myself this very morning as my little bundle of wide-eyed innocence stared intently at my sleepy face, is that no matter how I feel or how these children behave, I have them, they are here and they are mine. They need me completely, regardless of my mood, and whatever each day brings, whatever we celebrate, struggle through, laugh at or endure, my babies will know every single day that I love them with every ounce of my being, and I will thank God for the precious little girls that He has placed in my care.
Reading of losses such as the one I came across this morning is heart-breaking, many parents across the world are going through turmoil, and while I can’t pretend that I will never again complain, I can say with absolute certainty that I will wake up a little happier each day and go to bed each night with a fuller heart, all because of my little family.
I am extremely blessed. I have my loving husband and my two baby girls. I will never take that for granted!